Are book bloggers too nice? 

This post was inspired by Krysta’s @pagesunbound amazing post about the unwritten rules of the blogosphere (she always has the best discussions!) she raised a lot of interesting questions I would like to address a few of them. Mostly the ones about book bloggers being careful not to be seen as argumentative and about the niceness of the community.birddivider-pg

Are book bloggers too nice?

I think book blogger are definitely too nice, yes it’s good to be nice in fact it’s the best thing anyone can be and generally it’s better to be too nice then not nice enough most everyone on here is so kind. I have never gotten a mean comment this community is amazing every single person who I have talked to is lovely. I’m sure there are rude book bloggers because there is always going to be those people who are rude for no reason and love to start drama. What I mean by the community being too nice is that it seems people are scared of hurting others feeling so they word their different or negative opinion very carefully or don’t say it at all. And this brings me to my next question…

Are we missing out on interesting conversations, because we’re afraid of being argumentative?

I have noticed that the majority of the comments I receive are in complete agreement, I would love to receive more comments from people who have a completely different opinion then me. I love seeing people’s different thoughts on books or various topics that’s part of why I love blogging. I think that by being afraid of coming across as argumentative were missing out on interesting conversations, were too concerned about being respectful of people’s opinions. Being respectful of people’s opinions is important but being respectful doesn’t mean you can’t share your differing opinion it just means not to tell them their opinion is invalid.

Are we too afraid of sharing unpopular/negative opinions?

Sometimes it feels like the whole internet loves this one book and then you read it and are sure you didn’t read the same book no way is this awful book the same one everyone else loves but somehow it is you say nothing though for fear of backlash. We read the popular books because we want to be able to join in on conversations about it but if you don’t like the book it feels like your all alone your not there’s someone out there who feels the same way. When someone does share a unpopular opinion they often apologize but you really do not have to apologize for not liking something it should be understood that it’s an opinion and not a fact some people get them mixed up and it’s aggravating.

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In conclusion…

We need to stop caring quite so much about offending people as long as you don’t insult them or the book they love then you’re not doing anything wrong. Of course if you didn’t like a book then sharing your opinion might be considered insulting the book but remember that there is a difference between saying “I didn’t like this book because…” and saying “This book is a load of crap how could anyone like it.” you can disagree with someone and not be rude about it. I think some people are too defensive we should be able to talk about harmful and problematic things without people becoming unreasonably defensive about their favorite book. You can love something and still acknowledge that it’s not perfect.

birddivider-pgWhat do you think? Is there anything else you think the book community needs to improve upon?

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19 thoughts on “Are book bloggers too nice? 

  1. It’s interesting because most of the replies on my post say that they wish bloggers would be more argumentative. But I have to admit that whenever I challenge a discussion post or offer an alternate opinion, bloggers mostly seem to be respond in a defensive manner. “Discussion” seems to mean “lecture” in many cases. Bloggers are more open to me saying something like, “Oh, I didn’t enjoy that book as much as you did, but each to their own.” But if I engage with an opinion piece they wrote up, they seem to react differently. I know I’m generalizing, but my general sense of responses I’ve received does shape my unwillingness to engage more. I’ve even been yelled at by people who wrote stuff like, “I love discussion and debate! I have an open mind, so feel free to disagree.” I guess they didn’t mean that.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You are right “discussions” are so popular yet we don’t actually discuss things much because people get defensive. I’ve never been yelled it but I have seen people who love discussions but only talk about popular topics and in a way that doesn’t seem open to discussion. That makes since that bad experiences would make you less willing to engage, it’s just a little sad that we don’t have more civil debates.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think it’s also difficult to come across as civil because we’re so accustomed to seeing everyone agree. As soon as someone disagrees we might think, “Woah. Hold on there. I thought this was a friendly post!” Even though they didn’t say anything rude.

        I am pretty sure, for instance, that people find my writing style rude or offensive because I tend to be very direct. But book bloggers often take on very cheerful or bubbly personas. So if you’re not talking in that kind of established manner, you risk coming across as mean, even though you’re just not performing a certain type of bubbliness that might not be natural to you.

        Basically, communicating over the Internet is hard. :b

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I had never really thought about that before I suppose defensive is a natural reaction. Book bloggers are usually bubbly and that’s nice but really everyone should be themselves the bloggers who seem the most real are always going to be my favorite. Well now I’m getting off topic, communication really is hard.
          😒🙂

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  2. Hey – great topic. I find this tricky – when I review a book that I don’t like, I think there’s a delicate balancing act going on. I know people who might love that book, and I know the writer has invested a lot of time in their art to make the book a reality. It can be difficult to give a pretty strong negative opinion on something knowing that what you’re writing is completely subjective.

    I guess the other side is the kind of online space you create for your blog. If it looks like a place where there’s lively debate, then you’ll probably get it – if I don’t see much going on, or everyone is of the same mind, then I’m likely to take my controversial opinions somewhere else (or keep them to myself).

    I guess this leads to another question: is a blog a good place to foster debate and discussion?

    I mean, posts are written by a few people, and a comments section doesn’t necessarily mean that readers will want to go for a proper debate.

    Last thought on this – just backing up what @Krysta already said. A lot of people always react defensively (it can very difficult not to). Is this a blogger thing or just the way the world is now? I think of the way that FB and Twitter react to stuff, and its very similar to what you describe. Should we expect blogs on books to be any different?

    Oh man, the more I think of it, the better a topic this is. Good work @cornreviewsbooks.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! I love writing negative reviews and actually find them easy to write I always find at least one good thing about the book to talk about. I also try to make it clear that even though I don’t like it, it doesn’t mean the reader won’t. I think a blog is a good place for discussions because interacting with people from all over the world is the best part of blogging. This post was actually influenced by twitter there’s always drama on there and a lot of times it’s from people being defensive. I understand getting defense about your favorite book but some people take it to far and are completely unwilling to listen to people who call the book out for being problematic.

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  3. This was a wonderful post to read – and you raise an interesting point here. It seems to me like people might be scared of voicing their opinions at times because of all the drama that can come out of it, justified or not -this often happens on Twitter, I have yet to see it on blogs, but I think maybe it’s so quick to burst into flames on Twitter, maybe bloggers are more careful when writing their posts with more texts on their blogs? No idea.
    Of course, it’s always nice to have comments with people agreeing with what I am thinking or how I am feeling about books, but it’s also very interesting to hear someone’s thoughts when they are different from mine, argumented obviously and not completely criticizing the way I am actually thinking. I am always trying to be genuine with the way I am feeling whenever I write a discussion post, and always mentioning that this is my way of thinking and I have nothing against people thinking differently, as a way to open discussion in comments and for people who might be thinking differently not to be afraid to comment.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, there is a lot of drama on twitter and some people on their could probably benefit from wording things more carefully but then again it’s hard to be articulate in a tweet. I’m glad there’s not as much drama on here although I do realize that wanting more debate would cause more drama. I agree with you I try to make sure people know it’s my opinion and that I’m open to different discussion.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think the tricky thing is that having a strong opinion on something is frequently interpreted as overly aggressive–and this can happen either if you’re taking a strong position on a topic in a post on your own blog, or if you’re taking a strong position in a comment on someone else’s blog. To me, the fact that I believe something does not mean I think people cannot and should not believe the opposite (well, unless we’re talking about serious moral issues, which is generally not the case on book blogs). But a couple weeks ago I wrote a post explaining why I, personally, am not interested in symbolism in literature, as an opinion post, and some commenters seemed pretty aggrieved about it. You can love symbolism all you want! That’s great! I’d love to hear about why you like it so much. But I am definitely not at all saying you should not like symbolism just because I wrote a post explaining why I don’t!

    I sometimes disagree with people’s posts in comments but tend to do that thing where I spend a lot of time elaborating on why it’s just my opinion, and I think they can still think what they want, etc. I’ve rarely had a problem, but maybe I would if I just stated my thoughts directly without all the qualifiers. The most direct time I’ve been “yelled at” for a comment I made was because the blogger thought I “had missed the entire point of her post.” I thought I was commenting on something related to her post; she apparently thought my comment was worthless. I just unfollowed her blog. 😉

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    1. Your right you never know how people are going to interpret something I wish more people understand that books are subjective. I wouldn’t have thought that people would be aggravated by something like that that should be obvious that it’s your opinion this should be obvious in all blog posts. I do that to! Sometimes I’m too busy trying to make it clear that it’s just my opinion that I don’t even say all I wanted to. I’m getting better about this and have yet to be yelled it but sadly I wouldn’t surprise me if it happened.

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  5. I don’t know, I do sometimes comment with a different opinion, so I guess I’m not particularly afraid to speak honestly? There are times, however, when I’ll instead opt not to comment, but it’s on a case-by-case basis, depending on the topic, if I think I can respond respectfully, maybe how well I know the blogger, etc. And I’ve had people disagree with me on things in my discussions or book reviews, always respectfully though, so it was fine. But disagreeing with posts can be tricky because it’s just hard to express things properly via text when you can’t use facial expression or tone or anything to convey your meaning. I’m definitely not afraid to give a negative review just because a book is loved by most people though. It seems I tend to dislike a lot of the popular books lol.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Communicating via text is definitely tricky you never know how people are going to interpret it. I’m with you I’m not afraid of sharing a negative review or opinion about a popular book. I tend to think popular books are popular for a reason but there’s tons of times I didn’t like a hyped book. And some books don’t actually deserve the hype.

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  6. Great post! I definitely think most bloggers are to nice at times but also feel it’s down to people not wanting to give their opinion if it differs from the majority.

    Discussion posts are great but you do on occasion get people who take offence at different opinions, it’s the whole point of a discussion post to discuss the topic, whether you agree or not with the blogger who posted and even though most bloggers write ‘any opinions welcome’ if you disagree with theirs they take offence. I don’t mean ‘it’s crap, you’re wrong’ but a proper opinion explaining why you think what you do but as it’s different to the original blogger, it’s deemed wrong.

    I also think lots of people don’t like offering different opinions as it’s seen as not being nice and people don’t want to receive horrible or negative comments. I posted a reasons to love fantasy post the other day, I’m quite sarcastic in my posts in a joking way and have lots of banter with a few bloggers in comments but someone who hadn’t commented on my blog before strung me up over a joke about Y-A in the post and another part that they totally misunderstood and I felt the need to apologise, I don’t do that unless I think I should and I’m opinionated in my posts but I felt the need to apologise as I hadn’t gone out of the way to offend anyone it was just joking around and no-one else took offence. But, point is, I’m happy to debate and for people to voice their opinion in the comments, I do think that blogger should have apologised though.lol But, lots of bloggers I know don’t like different opinions and won’t express them as they don’t want to debate, same for discussion posts, they won’t post them as they don’t want to disagree with others even though that’s the whole point of discussion.😀

    Bloggers should be themselves though opinions and all as we are all different and should feel like we can be ourselves even if our opinion goes against the grain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The whole point of blogging is to share your honest opinions and that doesn’t just mean the popular ones, I wish people wouldn’t let the chance of getting a mean comment keep them from being themselves and sharing their opinion. Different opinions keep things interesting if everyone had the some thought towards everything the world would be boring. Some people seem to miss the whole point of discussions it’s fine if you don’t want to debate but posting a discussion when your not actually open for one confuses me.

      Your right we should all be ourselves my favorite bloggers are the ones who let their personality shine in their posts and share their opinions even if there unpopular.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. If I don’t agree with a review, I always say it, like “Honestly, I didn’t enjoy this book but I’m glad that you did.” I say that with a reason: being honest but completely respectful.
    One thing I love about this community is we all love reading and we accept different opinions. Maybe it is a positive effect of reading? I get used to reading books I’m not familiar or comfortable with. It makes me love varieties and be open to different ideas.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Being honest and respectful are two great things to be I also try to be when commenting regardless of if I agree with them. It is so cool that so many of the people in this community are open minded.

      Like

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